Hello My Name is Boyd and I'm here to Help!

HELLO, all you fabulous fatties & chubs! Boyd here, bringing the latest & greatest in Fat Facts, the do’s and don’ts of our rotund community, and well…I suppose some lovely thoughts in ways of improving our obese world.
Now, before we start, I must encourage you all to read the information that my dear Roberta disclosed earlier in. We are who we are…YOU are you. We don’t want you to change. We just want you to be happy…I can hear the mammoths now…We are happy. I’m proud. I’m confident….blaring like elephants in heat! Sister, I know you’re not happy when those pants you purchased recently…you know the ones.. the ones you thought you’d buy one size smaller, so it would motivate you to lose that extra squishum. Yeah the pants that are still one size too small. Uh-huh…Not a problem ….YET!
My dear fat friend, since you didn’t lose what you hoped, you need to LOOSE THE PANTS. Take them back for a size that will fit you comfortably. DO NOT THINK THAT PUTTING THOSE ON WILL MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD. IT DOESN’T. Not only does it not make you look good, but you must not be feeling that great. I’m sure the elastic that is creating imprints in your stomach from the TOO-TIGHT PANTS, are causing great pain and much chaffing every time you lift a thigh. Not only are we talking pain, but the new growth that has formed around your waist…a ring of squishum. You can NOT hide that ring. I don’t care how hard you try. Well ok, I take that back…IF your squishum ring is slightly on the smaller side, you can wear something such as a jacket, shirt, blouse, but it must be made of a thick, heavier material, so it sort of hangs over it, instead of clings to it. AVOID CLINGY MATERIAL when you have the ring.
See…NOW, this is what the FAT FACTS are about. We are here to make YOU look better. You need that someone to tell you, HEY SISTER…YOUR STOMACH IS HANGING OUT OF YOUR PANTS! PULL YOUR PANTS UP. COVER THE GUT! We just want to beautify or bulging world. How could anyone not be happy about that?
BOYD