For those that don’t understand this blog, you don’t have to… The truth is this is a VENT about things blog which gives us the right to say what we please, as we are both chubby Americans we feel as if we are allowed to voice our concerns with the people of today that choose to make FAT a disease. Please let me remind you that if you are a viewer or a follower of this blog it is at your OWN will that you are reading this and remember that EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion EVEN if it may be different from yours. Also NO ONE is holding a gun to your head to read this blog, therefore if you have an opinion great if you are offended then stop reading. Have a nice day.
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood a beautiful day in the neighborhood wont you be mine wont you be my neighbor. While on the subject of neighbor I must say that I have the winner of the neighbor. Once upon a sunny Sunday afternoon there was a knock at the door, to my surprise there was a 2 X 8 foot Hobbit. Yes I say the word hobbit because he looked like the plumpest, juiciest hobbit in town. So there he was Bilbo Baggins himself at my front door. He proceeds to introduce himself as my neighbor that I have been hiding from, to my surprise I say… “hiding from” to which his reply was “yes, we have been watching you, you get home late and you leave early” so at that point I wanted to grab my bow and arrow and point it at his Hobbit head due to the fact that I was shaking in fear. (secretly I was picturing a fat Dobby (from Harry Potter) leaning over my face while I lay sleeping as I get smothered by his front butt of fat. ) I’m sure the look on my face said volumes in what I was thinking as I am an expressive person and can’t hide emotion well. He then chuckles his jolly ol’ St. Nicholas laugh and said “oh no not in a creepy way… we haven’t been watching you as in a horror film way, we have just simply noticed that you come home late and leave early, so I thought since you were here on a Sunday Afternoon I would take the time to come meet you” I then was freaking out due to the fact that he just referred to his stocker ways as a HORROR film…. At this point I was horribly frightened and wanted the conversation to end, wishing that my dog didn’t have a hip problem and would attack at the command, however she would probably pee in fear at the large hobbit that has made my front porch a possible crime scene. I then say to Mr. Claus as the door is shutting “well it was great to meet you sir, I feel safe knowing that you are watching out for me over there” to which his reply is… “Oh yes, we sure wish we had a busy life like you seem to have.” Great to meet you , shake hand limply…. Door close….
Sigh….. followed by a peek out the window and to my concern the walk of shame down my front walkway was like the Penguin from Batman walking away without victory. Now do I have cause to be concerned? Is my Neighbor really the hobbit in the horror film that comes to peoples houses telling them they are being watched? CLUE? My guess is In the Kitchen, with the Hobbit… the Murder Weapon…. Death by FRONT BUTT SMOTHERING.
I’m Fat, I’m Happy just concerned for my fellow Americans who waddle. Love Roberta
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood a beautiful day in the neighborhood wont you be mine wont you be my neighbor. While on the subject of neighbor I must say that I have the winner of the neighbor. Once upon a sunny Sunday afternoon there was a knock at the door, to my surprise there was a 2 X 8 foot Hobbit. Yes I say the word hobbit because he looked like the plumpest, juiciest hobbit in town. So there he was Bilbo Baggins himself at my front door. He proceeds to introduce himself as my neighbor that I have been hiding from, to my surprise I say… “hiding from” to which his reply was “yes, we have been watching you, you get home late and you leave early” so at that point I wanted to grab my bow and arrow and point it at his Hobbit head due to the fact that I was shaking in fear. (secretly I was picturing a fat Dobby (from Harry Potter) leaning over my face while I lay sleeping as I get smothered by his front butt of fat. ) I’m sure the look on my face said volumes in what I was thinking as I am an expressive person and can’t hide emotion well. He then chuckles his jolly ol’ St. Nicholas laugh and said “oh no not in a creepy way… we haven’t been watching you as in a horror film way, we have just simply noticed that you come home late and leave early, so I thought since you were here on a Sunday Afternoon I would take the time to come meet you” I then was freaking out due to the fact that he just referred to his stocker ways as a HORROR film…. At this point I was horribly frightened and wanted the conversation to end, wishing that my dog didn’t have a hip problem and would attack at the command, however she would probably pee in fear at the large hobbit that has made my front porch a possible crime scene. I then say to Mr. Claus as the door is shutting “well it was great to meet you sir, I feel safe knowing that you are watching out for me over there” to which his reply is… “Oh yes, we sure wish we had a busy life like you seem to have.” Great to meet you , shake hand limply…. Door close….
Sigh….. followed by a peek out the window and to my concern the walk of shame down my front walkway was like the Penguin from Batman walking away without victory. Now do I have cause to be concerned? Is my Neighbor really the hobbit in the horror film that comes to peoples houses telling them they are being watched? CLUE? My guess is In the Kitchen, with the Hobbit… the Murder Weapon…. Death by FRONT BUTT SMOTHERING.
I’m Fat, I’m Happy just concerned for my fellow Americans who waddle. Love Roberta
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